Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
wakey wakey hands off snakey
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
