Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
