that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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