hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
