So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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