i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
