i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
