We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
