And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
