Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
