You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
