you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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