I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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