whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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