On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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