Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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