is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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