I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
