Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
