your parents love me but you hate me
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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