We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
