Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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