i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
