fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
