Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
