i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
