next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
