Need sex. Gaining weight.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
