there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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