My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
