Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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