I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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