Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think your dad took our porno
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
