I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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