So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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