Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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