Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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