Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you win again, gameday.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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