I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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