that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
