WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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