Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I can't turn off my feet"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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