im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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