There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
