it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
