does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
