This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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