OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
