That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
