His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
